TIMOTHY McSweeney’s INTERNET TENDENCY
The Fitness Sensation Sweeping the Nation: Wearing Your T-Shirt in the Pool™!
ALSO! Excerpts from my time as Humor Columnist for Syracuse University's (award-winning!) student newspaper, The Daily Orange. I figure I can keep these up here for roughly 12 more minutes before no one cares anymore.
“THIS ONLY REINFORCES THE FACT THAT PEOPLE FROM NEW JERSEY ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED.”
"I am terrible at carving pumpkins, and I think they smell weird anyway."
"I send my mom Snapchats of myself reading the Bible and she doesn’t even realize I’m being facetious."
"Next year’s 'glamping' packages will be offered in tiered bundles that range from 'Public School' to 'Rose Gold.'"
